If you only had a short time to live, what would you do?
This was the question that greeted be upon getting my hands on the book. Often, as we age, we do not really give ourselves actual time to sit down and think about all that has happened. It is to the point that many people lose a sense of themselves among the hustle and bustle of what they call "life".
I came about to hearing about this book during a mindless scroll session on Instagram reels, when I saw one from an account, getbetterwithbooks, introducing this book. That soon turned into me trying to find myself a copy, since it seemed like quite an interesting premise. Let me quote the reel here, as I find it apt for you readers, to understand my mindset when starting out reading Pausch's book.
We all think that we have all the time in the world. But when we find out our time is up, how do we want people to remember us? This book isn't really about death, its about how to live a good life. Pursuing your dream, striving for excellence, appreciating all the the little things in life. But the author had young kids too, so this book was meant to be a guide for life even after he was gone. We both know what it feels like to lose a parent. You know we've all got blessings, and its on us to appreciate them while we still can.
Suffice to say, I was intrigued. And what followed, was an absolute emotional rollercoaster experienced in a matter of a few days, during a trip. I shall continue on by separating this article into key sections, based on the book's theme, along with how I personally felt when I was reading it.
I believe one of the first things mentioned by Pausch was on his last lecture, given at Carnegie Mellon. It was titled "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams", and indeed, it was his last lecture to the world with only a few months left to live. He metaphorically called himself an injured lion, on the brink of death, but still would want to roar. This was the section that talked about how he came about creating the lecture and, mainly, convincing his wife to allow him to go for the lecture. The struggle between his last piece of work, and his family, was clearly written and portrayed here. Interestingly, he did not phrase the book in a connotation resembling hopelessness, but in the "usual" sarcastic and comedic manner.
In fact, this undertone is continued up till the very end of the book.
The second part of the book focused mainly on his childhood, particularly his aspirations, upbringing and important lessons learnt. There were mentions on how his household promoted creativity and exploration above all, and the freedom he was given as a child. I just thought it was quite endearing, as he went through topics of being brave enough to ask for things, and the importance of perseverance; all quite commonplace in any motivational talk/book, but brought out in the perspectives of childhood storytelling.
The third part, mentions mostly about his adulthood, and the lessons he learnt, though I found myself fixated upon his relationships with the people around him. He did not get married up till his 40s, and before that point, his nephews were the people he loved most. His passion in them, taking them on stupid adventures is described to be ever-more sweet, especially with him ending that chapter with some notes addressing the nephews personally; in that he hopes the love he has given them could be continued to be given to his children, whenever the chance presents themselves.
He mentions his life as professor of computer science, and Disney Imagineer as well, retelling stories of all that has happened during his tenure. He talked about how important it was for teamwork to be drilled into his students, and for young people to dream big and be inspired. Short sections of the books retell stories that had happened to him and his teachings as professor, all of which amazingly portrays the lessons he wants to leave for his readers.
Besides this, the entire story of Pausch and his escapades with his wife, Jai, is absolutely adorable. He recalls on the extent he went to to win over Jai in the first place, and all that follows suit. It is obvious that the short-years they were together were one of happiness and love. Most importantly, he talked about how much his wife has struggled and contributed to the household, especially after his diagnosis. He appreciates her, to the point where an entire chapter was dedicated on the small things she did for her cancer-ridden husband. The bittersweet position I found myself in, when he said he wanted to make it up to her as a new-year resolution is frankly shattering, taking into account the context of course. He knew he was going to leave his wife, and therefore throughout the entire book, he was writing so much about her, in efforts for everyone to read said book to remember her, to remember them.
How wonderous would it be, to be in relationships such as this?
The following part talks about how he tried to live his life, and accompanying that, his advice to the readers of the book. Do allow me to list some of them out.
Dream Big Give yourself permission to dream, and fuel the dreams of those around you too.
Earnest is Better than Hip Being hip is short-term, being earnest however, takes you far.
Raising the White Flag Life is too short, and with the passage of time, and the deadlines that life imposes, surrendering to small matters becomes the right thing to do.
Don't Complain, Just Work Harder Complaining does not work as a strategy, for it won't help us achieve our goals, and that it won't make us happier.
Treat the Disease, Not the Symptom Relatively self-explanatory, find the root cause and fix it. Superficial solutions are often useless.
The Lost Art of Thank-you Notes Thank people genuinely, for genuine gratitude is rare in practice nowadays.
A Bad Apology is better than No Apology Saying sorry first does not signify defeat, it signifies that you understand that the relationship is far more important than your own ego.
No Job is Beneath You Do all that it takes, for there is no job not worth your time.
Never Give Up A cliché, I know.
Make a Decision: Tigger or Eeyore? A happy Tigger? Or a depressed Eeyore? A lot of the times, it's your choice and your choice only. What is the point of being an Eeyore?
The final section, aptly named "Final Remarks" was the section that broke me. It's not because of some forward-thinking advice, nor was it some relevation from a cancer patient. It was because he was talking about his kids. Throughout the book, I could sense that he had longed for being the best father he could for his children, but that dream was cut short due to this diagnosis. Therefore, the book was filled with a creeping but immense melancholy, as at least for me, I always had the thought of his children at the back of my mind.
He is a good father. He wants to leave all of himself to be examined by his children when they're old enough to do so. That is the reason why, even after the pain of realising unavoidable death, he powered through with both his last lecture and his book. It was never for everyone else, and it was never for himself.
It was for his children.
Here is an excerpt from the final sections of his book. It was here when tears were beginning to form in my tour bus :)
As I wound down, I had taken a minute to review some of the key points of the lecture. And then I offered a summation, but with a twist; a surprise ending, if you will. "So today's talk was about achieving your childhood dreams," "But did you figure out the head fake?" I paused. "It's not about how to achieve your dreams. It's about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, and the dreams will come to you." "Have you figured out the second head fake?" Then I told them. "The talk wasn't for those in the room. It was for my kids." I clicked to the very last slide, a photo of me standing my our swing set, holding a smiling Logan with my right arm and sweet Chloe with my left, Dylan sitting happily on my shoulders.
He mentioned, rather comically: I was trying to put myself in a bottle that would one day wash up on the beach for my children. If I were a painter, I would have painted for them. But I am a lecturer, so I lectured.
How I hope, I can make such lasting impacts on my own children when I will be given the chance to, such as Pausch has done for his. It was for this that I broke down.
Professor Randy Pausch was a professor of Computer Science, Human Computer Interaction and Design at Carnegie Mellon University. Pausch lost his battle with pancreatic cancer on 25 July 2008. May he rest in peace.
10/10
~ Cheerful :D
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